


Some Nights

by kirschhhstein



Series: Some Days [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-10 09:37:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1158081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirschhhstein/pseuds/kirschhhstein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I closed my eyes instinctively and hoped I wasn't making a weird expression.  I knew that Eren was going to kiss me and it was going to be different.  We'd exchanged chaste kisses for years but we weren't kids anymore, not really.  Our bodies and reactions had changed.  Our feelings had grown and I knew this was what we both wanted.  I needed the comfort but I needed it from Eren.  It had to be his hands on mine.  No one else could give me that same feeling of security.  He was familiar and safe and even though suddenly somehow I couldn't breathe, I trusted Eren implicitly.  I loved the boy that protected me from the moment we met.  I couldn't lose him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this was another accident
> 
> i'm sorry, i just retreat to eremin when i'm feeling down. they mean a lot to me and i just really need more eremin fanfiction.
> 
> there's gonna be more to this, i know that much at least.
> 
> also i keep cheating on summaries, whoops.

For the longest time, I was afraid Eren didn't love me anymore.

He hadn't kissed or held me or even touched me since before the fall of Maria. Since the three of us lay by the lake making flower chains on that day. No words of comfort, no playful wrestling or hair braiding. Then again, I hadn't initiated anything either. I think I just didn't want to disrupt his grief with my selfishness. Just because I wanted to touch him didn't mean I should. So I didn't. Even when my grandfather was sent away with countless others on a suicide mission and I was left with nothing but that ridiculous straw hat, Eren didn't hold me. He only raged and ranted about the unfairness of it all. His words, though true, were harsh and shocking. I knew he could be loud and angry but he was never this frightening.

If Mikasa was at all surprised by Eren's behaviour, she didn't show it. Only telling him to calm down and forcing him to apologise whenever he directed his anger towards me. I tried so hard not to mind but I couldn't help but get upset and, honestly, a little irritated. Couldn't he see that I was struggling too? That he wasn't the only one who had lost everything? I thought of the parents I barely knew, my stubborn grandfather, Eren's kind mother, the books in the study, the lake, the grass, the flower chains. All of our lives had changed for the worst. As always, of course, I didn't say anything.

It wasn't until the night I announced with determination that I was also joining the survey corps that I knew Eren's feelings hadn't changed. He waited until we were alone before tugging me into an alleyway, not unlike the one we had first met in, and looked me directly in the eyes.

"Armin, are you sure?" he asked in a hushed tone.

I almost made a comment about his being sure of Mikasa before biting it back when I saw the look in his eyes. Fear.

"You and Mikasa are all I have left. I won't be left behind. Did you really think you would just leave me here alone?" My voice trembled on "leave" and suddenly it was difficult to look at Eren.

I gasped when he hugged me tight enough to make it hard to breathe.

"I don't want you to die." he whispered.

I shook my head before burying it in his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his back. Idiot, didn't he know that's how I felt too? Didn't he remember when I screamed at him in my grandfather's study not to join the survey corps all those years ago? I voiced my feelings, my words slightly muffled against the warm, familiar shape of his shoulder.

"I guess we'll just have to look after each other then." he breathed, pressing his face into my hair.

We stayed like that for a little while before Mikasa came calling. Talking like that made me feel better about the bond between us but even at the time I knew we would never be the same as before.

It was easy to notice all the other things that changed about Eren. It pained me to notice, but I couldn't help it. I knew him so well. I loved him, even if we could never go back to how we used to be.

He didn't sleep the same way anymore. I discovered this the first night we slept in the barracks during training. Eren lay in the bed next to mine, facing away from me, curled up with his knees tight to his chest and his hands clenched into fists. He murmured restlessly all through the night and I realised that his shoulders were slightly shaking. He looked so different from the boy that would fall asleep in my grandfather's study, limbs thrown carelessly outward and drool dripping down his chin. Not the most attractive of positions but his expression was always so carefree. He seemed peaceful.

Watching his hunched figure tremble every night in the barracks caused a sharp pain in my chest. I wanted nothing more than to clamber out of my own bed and into his so I could wrap my arms around him. Pull the sheets over us and hold him tight until he stopped shaking with the rage and grief that had tormented him every moment since the fall of Maria.

I never did though. I hated myself for being too afraid to comfort him. Too scared that he might push me away and tell me no. It wasn't unreasonable. I know he didn't want the others to make fun of him anymore than they already did. I suppose it would've be embarrassing for the other boys to see us like that. Wasn't it me that asked to keep our relationship a secret in the first place? That didn't stop me from wanting to touch him.

The best I could do for Eren was to stay awake longer than the others so I could rustle my sheets or cough whenever his unconscious mumbling got too loud. Some nights, after checking that everyone else was sleeping, I'd toss my own thin sheet over Eren's trembling figure to further shield him from the others. Then I'd wake earlier than the others so I could whip it back off without anyone else knowing. I thought once that Jean's friend, Marco Bodt, may have seen me. If he did, he never said anything.

Eren never said anything either. Of course, I don't think he ever noticed.

Even showing the slightest hint of how we felt seemed forbidden. If I stood too closely to Eren, or if his gaze on me lingered a little longer than usual, we would always receive small reactions. A snide comment from Jean or a knowing smile from Reiner.

Eren acted like he didn't care about the things that Jean said to him but I knew he was lying. He didn't look at me when he lied. My heart ached when he said that though. All those "I don't care about anyone else thinks" when he first kissed me by the lake long ago seemed forgotten.

I had hoped it would be different in private but privacy was a luxury that we trainees didn't have. We could only snatch moments alone if we finished meals early or were stuck on cleaning duties. Usually those moments alone included Mikasa so I never tried talking to Eren about us. He was always completely focused on training anyway, and I felt that all I could offer him were words of encouragement. 

He was particularly nervous the first time we were to use our 3DMG on our own among the trees just outside the training camp. It was the night before the exercise and we had headed back to the barracks alone after our meal to get an early night.

"What if I fuck up and fall again?"

"Eren, you only couldn't work the 3DMG before because your gear was broken. You'll be fine." I told him, leaning over the space between our beds and brushing my fingertips lightly against the back of his tanned hand. 

It seemed harmless enough, no one was looking at us and to be honest, I needed the reassurance too.

However Eren jolted, and whipped his head up to look at me. I was startled to see the beginnings of a blush on his cheeks. Should I not have done that? We'd held hands before, I didn't see how this was any different.

"Now I'm _really_ nervous." Eren murmured, taking one of my hands and tracing his thumb against the inside of my wrist.

It was ticklish in all sorts of strange ways. I was shocked by the way my heart thudded and how it was suddenly difficult to breathe. Eren was acting strangely and I was behaving strange in kind. It was only his hand, as rough and warm and familiar as ever. Then why was my reaction so out of the ordinary? Was it because Eren had changed over the last few years?

He was silently watching the movements of his thumb on my wrist, the darker tone of his skin contrasting nicely with my own pale colour. While he was distracted I took the opportunity to study him.

His emerald eyes were the same as ever, wide and bright with emotion. I loved those eyes. His face was no longer as round, his jaw and cheekbones now more prominent. He had grown taller too, taller than myself, and the years of training had stripped him of all baby fat. My sight lingered on the hard muscle of Eren's forearm before I swallowed audibly and focused my gaze on safer territory. I could tell just by looking that his hair wasn't as soft as it used to be. Sometimes I wished he'd grow his hair a little, I thought it would suit him and I thought Mikasa would like it too. But I was sure he kept it short because his mother always pestered him to get it cut. Now he would tell Mikasa the same thing.

Suddenly feeling self conscious, I pulled my arm back gently from Eren's grasp. I looked away from his confused expression and hesitated to speak.

"Eren... do you think I should cut my hair?"

The confusion on his face only increased and he tilted his head to get a better look at my face.

"Why are you asking that all of a sudden?"

"I... I don't know. I guess it's because shorter hair would be more practical and would make me look older -"

"Why do you wanna look older?"

"I..."

I wished I'd never opened my mouth. This was just too embarrassing. But Eren wasn't one to let things go. He would've gotten it out of me eventually so I thought that I may as well get it over with.

"Would you prefer it if I cut my hair?"

"Uh..." Eren looked as embarrassed as I felt when I stared at him. "I-It's your hair, A-Armin, you should do what you want -"

"I'm asking you."

It was difficult not to enjoy a flustered Eren as I brought his hands to my head and lifted my hair with them. I felt the strands slip through our fingers and recalled a frustrated younger Eren attempting to braid it while his mother brushed Mikasa's hair at his house. I could still remember Mrs Jaeger's laugh. Eren's hands in my hair, Mikasa's exasperated look and Mrs Jaeger's knowing smile. I wanted that feeling back. That feeling of family, of completion and love. I wanted it so badly and it broke my heart knowing I could never have that secure, carefree feeling again.

Eren must've sensed that something was wrong when I squeezed my eyes shut and tightened my fingers around his.

"Armin? Hey, what's wrong? I'm right here, Armin, talk to - mmfh?!"

He let out a muffled sound of surprise when I leaned forward and pressed my mouth against his. I hadn't kissed him in so long and I just wanted to feel safe if only for a moment so I drew back almost immediately, my heart hammering in my chest. I opened my eyes to see Eren's flushed face and parted lips.

"Armin," he breathed, and leaned forward.

I closed my eyes instinctively and hoped I wasn't making a weird expression. I knew that Eren was going to kiss me and it was going to be different. We'd exchanged chaste kisses for years but we weren't kids anymore, not really. Our bodies and reactions had changed. Our feelings had grown and I knew this was what we both wanted. I needed the comfort but I needed it from Eren. It had to be his hands on mine. No one else could give me that same feeling of security. He was familiar and safe and even though suddenly somehow I couldn't breathe, I trusted Eren implicitly. I loved the boy that protected me from the moment we met. I couldn't lose him.

Just as I felt Eren's lips ghosting over my own, I heard the rumble of voices outside the barracks.

My eyes snapped open and we both jumped back as though we had been scalded. I scrambled under my bedsheet as the entrance door opened and the other trainees filed in. I vaguely wondered if I overreacted when I buried my burning face into the thin pillow, pretending to be asleep. The others didn't seem to have noticed anything out of the ordinary as nobody said anything.

I heard Eren cursing in frustration under his breath as he clambered into his own bed. When the lights finally went out and everyone settled, I peeked out from under my pillow to see how Eren was. For the first time in a long time, he was facing me. It was too dark to tell whether his face was still red but he was definitely looking at me. Our beds were close enough for him to reach an arm over and place his hand on my head. I stiffened, but relaxed as he began to move his fingers through my hair. The motion was familiar and soothing and I began to feel myself drift off but not before I heard Eren speak in a low whisper.

"Please don't cut it."

I smiled faintly and nodded to reassure him, turning my head slightly to kiss his palm before falling asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was hard not to think about Mum when Armin's head rolled loosely to bump against my shoulder. The familiar overwhelming despair returned as I realised how utterly useless I was. It couldn't be happening again. No way was the world that cruel to take away one of the last people I loved as I watched helplessly from the sidelines. I knew I couldn't handle it if it happened again. Wasn't that the whole reason I joined the Survey Corps in the first place? To become stronger, and protect the ones I loved? I'd been looking out for Armin all my life, and I had always intended to do it forever. I'd have died myself before I let him get hurt again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pfft, i finally got around to finishing this. just in time to start working on stuff for eremin week next week whooooo!

I wanna talk about something.  Something I don't think people appreciate enough.  I don't think even  _I_ appreciate that something enough.  I freaking love the hell out of him though.

Armin Arlert is a pretty big deal.  Plenty of people around here in training didn't seem to get that.  Sometimes Ymir would make a comment about him falling behind on laps, and I'd try not to punch her lights out because I keep getting into trouble for doing that.  Or Jean would purse his lips when he got paired with Armin for anything physical; always  _sighing,_ but never saying anything.  Oh, but that's never the case whenever they team up for mental exercises.  He always looked pretty damn cosy pouring over those books, 'cause between the two of them he knew they'd end up with the top marks.  Smug-faced bastard.

But whatever, I don't wanna talk about him.  I know that he's really an alright guy, but he's got nothing on my Armin.  I did kind of lose it at him one day though.  Not for the first time of course, but I kind of got way more upset than I usually would with him.  To be fair, I reckon I had good reason.

 

So I was freaking about a bit about using our 3DMG for the first time in the woods outside the training camp.  My first experience with the 3DMG didn't exactly go that great, so I was already pretty tense that morning.  Of course Armin tried to reassure me the night before, but if anything he managed to make me even more nervous.  Not so much about the training exercise, but about something I'd been trying to put out of my mind for a while.

He seemed fine at first, until he started asking me weird questions and then kissed me.  Which was kind of surprised me 'cause it's usually me that initiates any kind of  _that_ kind of touching.  I guess I was also really surprised 'cause it was the first time we'd kissed in a long time.

It wasn't that I forgot that Armin and I were in this super-secret-kissing relationship.  The "super-secret" part was his idea after all (the "kissing" part was mine), and it's pretty damn hard to find somewhere to do any the kissing super-secretly.  Or do anything really.  We hadn't managed to be on our own for any more than a few minutes during training.  I suppose that night would've been a pretty good opportunity to catch up on all the kissing and talking, but he seemed kinda upset beforehand.  Then I got pissed because the other trainees came in before I could find out what it was all about.  So yeah, I was kind of on edge the next morning.

We headed out to the woods at 5:30AM, and everyone seemed kind of excited.  Well, everyone you would expect to be excited.  Sasha and Connie were already betting their dinner on who could reach the edge of the woods the fastest, Jean was already bragging way ahead of time, and even Marco had a little bit of eagerness in his expression.  Mikasa was calm as usual, but Armin was pretty quiet.  Which made me pretty quiet.  Instructor Shadis was screaming all sorts of reminders and warnings at us, but it was kinda hard to pay attention with Armin sticking so close to me.

At first I didn't think he was any nearer to me than usual, but then he tilted his head towards mine to whisper "Are you okay?" in my ear and I freaking _jumped._ His breath was ticklish as hell, and the way his cheeks went pink just made my own face go hot.

"Sorry, I... Should I not have done that?"  he mumbled, and I babbled my way through my own apology.  The whole thing was pretty lame, and Mikasa's tiny smirk didn't make me feel any better about it.

"Yeah, I'm feeling okay about it.  How about you, are you...?"

"I'll be fine.  I'm actually quite confident about my 3DMG skills."  he said sheepishly, and I wanted to ran my hands through hs hair and fluff it up like I used to do all the time.  Back when things were different.

"Just stick close to me and Mikasa, alright?"

"I told you, I'm fine.  Besides, I'm not even in your team."

"You're not?"

"ARLERT, KIRSCHSTEIN, LEONHARDT.  GET OVER HERE.  YOU'RE UP."

I obviously hadn't been paying attention when Shadis pinned up the team arrangements sheet in the dining hall the night before.  It wasn't unusual for us to be separated during training exercises, but it still caused that little pang of annoyance each time we were.

I shot a glare in Jean's direction as Armin scooted off to join him and Annie.  Usually I'd storm over and remind him to keep an eye out for Armin, but neither of them would've liked that at all.  Jean and Annie had that "every man for himself" attitude during training, and Armin always got pretty heated with me when I got "overly protective".  I guess I could see why he usually got so bothered about me interfering; since we're in the military now we all know that we gotta be strong enough to get on with things on our own.  It doesn't make me wanna look out for him any less though.  I've been doing it ever since we met; it's that fierce protective instinct that's never gonna die, no matter how strong Armin gets on his own.  And he's already pretty damn strong.

I trudged over with Mikasa to the opening of the woods when Shadis called us less than a minute later.  The teams were supposed to start two minutes from each other, so we were up next with Thomas.  I wasn't so nervous when we triple-checked our gear was secure (minus the blades; we weren't allowed to handle them in the air yet) and faced the opening.  Armin was probably already well into the woods with the others, so now I just had to focus on my own performance.  As soon as Shadis screamed at us to go, we took off and I forgot why I was so panicked in the first place.

Now that I was in the air, I felt way more pumped than I'd been a minute ago.  Having the power to move through the sky at will?  It was so damn freeing.  I mean don't get me wrong, it wasn't as effortless as Mikasa made it look, but the strain was worth it.  Sometimes the restricting straps made you feel pretty stiff, and yeah the gear could get in the way a little, but the speed and the wind in your hair (Connie missed out, man) and that view over the trees?  It all made you kinda forget the aches and the whole reason we were doing it in the first place.

And of course, Mikasa would call out telling me to get down and stop going off course.  It became a bad habit of mine to ignore her.

But I had another reason for trying it for the first time that day.  I thought maybe I could see ahead, figure out how far Armin's team had reached.  As it turned out, not very far.  And way off course.

I squinted at the two blond heads and single whatever-the-hell-Jean's-hair-colour-is head, and resolved to retreat back beneath the tree tops.  It didn't make any sense that we could see them.  Had we really caught up that fast, or had something hindered their progress through the woods?  When I rejoined Mikasa and Thomas, I demanded that we go see what the problem was.  Thomas seemed doubtful, since technically the point of the exercise was to move through the woods and reach the other side as quickly as possible.  However, Mikasa gave a silent nod which convinced him.  Though both of them knew that I would've went without their approval anyway.

We slipped quietly through the trees and it wasn't long before we were close enough to hear a familiar voice brashly addressing the others.

"...exactly where we are.  We go through that gap there -"

"Jean, I'm pretty sure that's the direction we just came from.  Annie, don't you think -"

"I know what I'm talking about, I'm the one leading this team!  It's just through -  _Shit,_ my gear's jammed -"  The sound of Jean's fist slamming against the tank echoed through the clearing.  "- damn it  _damn it -_ oh wait it's working n- _SHIT, Armin move - !"_

I hurtled myself through the opening in time to see Jean blast across the clearing and knock Armin from the tree branch he had been perched on moments before.  My scream didn't cover the sickening crack as his head hit the branch before he fell.  His eyes shut.

Mikasa was quicker to react, streaking towards his falling figure as the others stared in horror.  I was a half-second behind her, needing that moment to process what had just happened that I was unable to prevent.  I didn't think as I knocked her arms out of the way and grabbed him a few feet above the ground.  I barely landed on my feet, stumbling forward a few metres with a sharp pain in my ankles and an ache in my chest.  I fell to my knees with Armin on my lap, not daring to loosen my hold on him in the slightest.  His eyes were still closed, his lips parted in surprise as they had been when Jean slammed into him moments ago.

I was barely aware of Mikasa dropping into a crouch beside me as I called Armin's name urgently.  His face had drained of what little colour it had, and he showed no response to my increasingly panicked cries.  My head spun nauseatingly fast, as though I had been the one to smack it against the branch; and the ache in my chest had sharpened, enough to feel like there was a weight crushing my lungs.

_"Armin - !"_ I gasped, unable to feel the hand that I knew was clutching my shoulder.

"Eren, he's just unconscious,"  An unsteady voice murmured in my ear, as though trying to mask the owner's own concern.  "Give him to me, I can get him back to base quicker -"

_"No -_ I can't leave him, I - I said we'd look out for each other and -"

"Eren."

Cool fingers gripped my chin and pulled my face to the side.  I stared into Mikasa's unblinking eyes, and dimly realised that her hand was trembling ever so slightly.  "We have to take him now.  I'll lead the way.  Promise me you can carry him."

I stood up as steadily as my quaking legs would let me and pulled Armin's limp frame tight to my body.  I knew that nothing short of death would make me let go of him now.

Something in my eyes must've made Mikasa overlook the tremors running through me as she gave a tight nod before taking off into the sky in the direction that we came.  I followed with Armin in my arms a moment after, making sure to throw a fierce glare at a pale Jean before we left.

To this day I still don't know how I managed to carry him back to base without falling, or breaking down mid-journey.  It baffled me that I still had the strength to carry Armin in my arms.  Because in a situation like that, it was usually Armin that kept me going.  His whispered reasonable words in my ear or his small hand in mine would always steady me when I thought I was gonna fall apart.  So many times when I woke from a nightmare did I think about crawling into the cot next to mine and clinging to his warmth.  What would I do if that warmth was gone?  I never wanted to find out.

It was hard not to think about Mum when Armin's head rolled loosely to bump against my shoulder.  The familiar overwhelming despair returned as I realised how utterly useless I was.  It couldn't be happening again.  No way was the world that cruel to take away one of the last people I loved as I watched helplessly from the sidelines.  I knew I couldn't handle it if it happened again.  Wasn't that the whole reason I joined the Survey Corps in the first place?  To become stronger, and protect the ones I loved?  I'd been looking out for Armin all my life, and I had always intended to do it forever.  I'd have died myself before I let him get hurt again.

It seemed to take an eternity to arrive back to camp; an eternity of looking down at Armin's pale face through blurred vision as we moved through the trees.  I wouldn't let anyone take him from me, despite knowing full well the emotionally wrecked state I was in.  Only when Mikasa and I burst into the medical ward and blurted out what happened to the nurse did I let him be pried away from me.  Mikasa and I both refused to leave the room as Armin was examined, rooted to the spot as we watched the nurses bustle around him.

I wouldn't let them close the curtain around his bed either; afraid of what I might see when they opened it again.  Instead I hovered as close to the bed as the nurses would let me, shuffling restlessly and muttering pleas under my breath.  And even though I already knew when she told me, I almost fell to my knees in relief as the nurse assured us that Armin was just unconscious and that he would wake soon.

"He'll have a large lump in the back of his head, and he'll feel a killer headache for days but he should be alright.  If he has plenty of rest that is, so don't any of you disturb him."

She shot me a particularly suspicious look, as though I were likely to grab another branch and smack Armin with it myself.  I gave her a firm nod to reassure her that Armin would be at peace in my care, then dragged a chair across the floor to Armin's bedside and dropped myself into it.  She grumbled that she'd be back to check on him as she and the other nurses left the room.

Mikasa sat with me for a while, both of us silently watching the slight movement of Armin's chest and listening to his quiet breaths.  I gingerly reached out my hand to brush the hair from his face, my fingertips lingering on the bandage around his head.  The anxiety in my heart lessened slightly as the colour slowly returned to his face, and I felt the warmth of his cheek against the palm of my hand.  Ordinarily I would've climbed in beside him, but I was afraid to jostle the bed too much and damage his head further.

A soft knock on the door had me whip my head around in an instant.  Jean hovered uncertainly in the doorway with an uncharacteristic look of worry on his face.  Before either of us could open our mouths, Mikasa was up and facing him by the door.

"Not now."  she stated.  "He's resting."

He looked as though he was about to protest but one sharp look from Mikasa silenced the words in his throat.  He backed away, not looking either of us in the eye, and disappeared down the hallway.

Mikasa turned back to me.  "I'm going to go find Thomas and report what happened to Instructor Shadis."  She seemed to hesitate, eyes flickering to Armin for a moment.  "I'll return soon."

I nodded and watched her leave the room, closing the door behind her, before turning back to Armin.  I had no idea when he was supposed to wake, but I trusted that the nurses knew what they were talking about.  As long as he was going to be okay, I'd have waited for as long as I had to.  Then I'd kiss him and hold him, then find Jean and kill him.

It had been well over an hour since Mikasa had left when I leaned forward to bury my head in my arms against the bed.  I vaguely wondered if Shadis was giving her a lecture, and whether I'd receive the same one later.  It wouldn't have mattered too much to me if I did; not much seemed relevant right now.

I peeked out through the space in my arms to see Armin's eyelids twitch.  I bolted upright and leaned towards him when he gave a quiet groan.

_"Armin."_  I whispered, and his eyes fluttered open.  It took a few moments for him to focus his confused gaze on me.

"Eren?  Wha... Is this the medical ward?  Did I...?"  He attempted to sit up and groaned again, reaching for the back of his head.  "Ow, ow, ow... Why does it feel like I got trampled on by a dozen horses?"

"Just one horse, I'm afraid.  And he knocked you out of a tree."

Armin stared at me in puzzlement, so I sighed and explained what had happened.  He seemed to have no recollection of colliding with Jean at all, and instead shrugged it off with an "Oh, well.  I've had worse injuries."

I gritted my teeth audibly and Armin's fingertips reached up to brush against my jaw.  "And you've saved me from the worst every time.  My hero."

I sighed and unclenched.  I took his soft hand in mine and kissed it.  "Eren?"

"Hm... It's just like in those stories we read together in your grandpa's study."

"Which ones?"

"Where the prince rescues the princess and kisses her awake."

"Um, I don't really want to be known as the princess, Eren."

"I don't see why we cant both be princes."  I shrugged.  "You've saved me too."

He was giving me that bemused look again, so I kissed it away and explained.

"It's just that... Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna go crazy.  I don't know where it all comes from, all this  _rage_ that I can't control.  But it's always you that pulls me back from it.  It's always you.  I dunno if I'm explaining this very well, but I guess what I'm saying is... Well, I'm asking you... to keep saving me.  You just said that I'm your hero.  Well, you're mine."

I'd be lying if said I didn't get a little flustered during that speech, especially with Armin's eyes so focused on mine with his hair mussed from the pillow and a spreading flush on his face.

"Maybe that sounded kind of dumb, but -"

Slender arms locked around my neck and pulled me down towards Armin's mouth.  I blinked as we separated before grinning involuntarily at his red cheeks.

"That's twice you've ambushed me in the middle of a sentence."

"Well sometimes you don't know when to stop talking and start  _doing._ "  He muttered, his arms tightening around my neck.

I swung myself onto the bed, knees on either side of his waist, and bent down to cup his face between my hands and kiss him softly.  He sighed against my mouth and I hummed back in agreement.  It had been way  _way_ too long.

A soft chap against the closed door and an "Armin?" from outside of it broke us apart.  I grabbed a book lying on the bedside table and hurled it against the door where it hit it with a  _thunk._  There was a quiet "Um... Later then." before the sound of retreating footsteps.

I snorted in annoyance, reminding myself to give Jean an earful later for interrupting on top of everything else he'd done that day.  I looked back down to Armin to recognise a familiar look of disapproval aimed at me.  "I'm sure he only wanted to apologise.  And you should treat books with more respect."

"Yeah, yeah.  Later."  I rolled onto my side, an arm and leg draped across Armin, and pressed my face into his neck.  The skin was warm there.  "He can apologise after I kick his ass."

"Please don't make a big deal about it,"  He murmured, sliding his fingers into my hair and making me hum contentedly in response.  "As if you two don't already fight enough."

I wriggled closer with another "Yeah, yeah."  I'd said before catching up on the kissing and talking, but right then all I wanted to do cling to Armin's warmth and feel his pulse against my cheek.

"Love you,"  I mumbled.  "We're gonna make it out of here, okay?  Me, and you, and Mikasa.  We're gonna see everything we saw in those books for real."

"I know we are,"  I closed my eyes as Armin kissed my hair.  "Together."

 

I dunno if telling you all this will get across the point I'm trying to make.  Maybe I should've used a better example, like the time he figured out who Annie was.  Or when he thought up that plan to save everyone's asses when the titans surrounded the Trost military headquarters.  I wasn't there, but I know that Armin's plan was freaking genius as always.

But you probably know all about that already, and I doubt telling you any of that will make you realise how much he means to  _me._ He's more than a military tactician or a decoy.  He's more than my best friend too.  There's just no accurate way to describe just how goddamn important he is.  But I can tell you this much.

Screw with Armin, and you screw with me.  I already said it, but it doesn't matter how strong Armin gets on his own.  I don't care how much he tries to stifle me when I jump up in his defense, or when he cries when he remembers me pulling him out of that titan's throat and dying on my own.  'Cause I'll sacrifice myself a thousand times over for him.  That's the way it's always been.

And that's the way it's always going to be.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't check for mistakes so um apologies if there are any, i'll maybe fix them later

**Author's Note:**

> can you tell how fucking obsessed i am with armin's hair? i swear i haven't gone one chapter of any fic without mentioning it at least twice.


End file.
